SURPRISE EPISODE! Journey through Adoption, IVF, and Nursing for 20 years with Kendra Johnson

SURPRISE EPISODE! 

Yep, I'm deciding to drop an episode on a MONDAY! Just to spice things up!

I was incredibly lucky to sit with one of my dear American friends, Kendra Johnson, who flew all the way from Utah to New York to spend a day and a half with me in Brooklyn. I was there for the Personal Branding Workshop and I felt truly privileged that after 28 years of friendship, every time we catch up, it's like time has stood still! 

I really wanted to sit with Kendra and have a good conversation about her wonderful journey with adopting her son, Eli after 8 years of trying for a baby with her husband Dan. We speak about their arrangement for an open adoption with Eli's birth mum and how unique and special that is for them both. We then go into detail how after 2 years; they made the decision to give IVF a go so Eli could have a sibling. Kendra was then blessed to fall pregnant with their adorable little girl Avery. 

Other topics we discuss include: 

* What it's like to be nursing in America for the past 20 years.

*How she balances work and home life with a husband who is in the military and often travels overseas for months at a time. 

*How she was inspired after listening to Flossy's episode to commit to joining the gym and taking time out for herself to gain her strength and fitness once again. 

A massive shout out to all the women in Kendra's life, including her sons' birth Mum. 

If anything in this episode hit you in the feels, please let me know by sending me a DM. You know how much I love those!! 

Follow me @officiallyemmayoung 

Resources and links mentioned in this episode:

• Instagram: @officiallyemmayoung
• Emma the Celebrant

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

You're listening to She Said It Out Loud, where real women share real stories without sugarcoating a theme. I'm your host, Emma Young, and I'll bring you on filtered conversations with ambitious women who faced challenges, made bold moves, and learned a lot along the way. You'll get real takeaways, honest lessons, and stories that you're gonna relate to. Righto, let's get started. Surprise! I've done an early episode drop. That's right. For those of you who are my listeners that listen week in and week out, you would be expecting to get the newest episode on a Friday. However, I've decided to do an early surprise drop of this week's episode. And it's not the one about boobs. I know, I know, lots of people are pretty pumped about that boobs episode, but I'm gonna put that one for another couple of weeks' time. Today's one is a very exciting one because I recorded it when I was in Brooklyn and I really want you guys to listen to it this week, and I wanted to do a surprise drop, so why not? Here's this one for today. Hey there and welcome to the podcast. I'm your host Emma Young, and this of course is She Said It Out Loud. Today's episode is sponsored by Matsos Brewery. I know a lot of you that are my new listeners are probably thinking, what even is this Matsos Brewery? Why is Emma banging on about them so much? Well, they are one of Broom's iconic destinations to go to. To bring your friends, to have a drink, to relax in their beer garden, also to check out their socials page for whatever they're doing on their jam sessions. Now that it's the dry season, it's the perfect place to go to, to hang out with your friends and take in that delicious ginger beer that they make and of course the surroundings. On to today's episode. I have been very lucky to be able to interview one of my very good friends that I've known for 28 years. We were in Brooklyn when we recorded this episode. I just was like, you know what? Do you want to come to Brooklyn and hang out with me? And Kendra is her name, Kendra Johnson. She currently lives in Utah, and she was like, you know what? I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna get on a plane and I'm gonna buy that ticket and I'm gonna come hang out with you for a day and a half in Brooklyn, and that's exactly what we did. And of course, only natural of me to double check that she wanted to do an interview, and she said yes. So we talked about all things from adoption to going through the IVF journey to her husband who works in the military and her job as a nurse for the past 20 years. We had an incredible conversation, and I was so very grateful for her for sitting down with me and having a chat. So here's our conversation. Welcome to the podcast Kendra. I am I'm so pumped. I am so pumped. People are going to be listening to this in my voice or hearing it and be like, Jesus, what is Emma on? We are currently sitting in the William Vale Hotel in Brooklyn, New York. That's right, New York. And I've got one of my very dear friends with me, Kendra, who is here. So for everyone listening, I have known Kendra for 28 years now. That is a long time. I know I've talked about my age, but I'm definitely giving it away today. So I was an exchange student in year 11 to this tiny little town called Clay Center in Nebraska, which is in the Midwest. It's just above Kansas. It's a magical state. A lot of people are probably thinking, in as an American's like, why are you in Nebraska? Loved it, still think about it. So I was there for a whole year, and in that year, I became really good friends with Kendra. She was in the same grade as me at high school. I would go around to her house, which was the Livegrenz, and we just had the best fun. And sometimes it feels like yesterday. I think I taught you to drive. You did. Yeah. The Millers, Kevin might might disagree on this.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

That's true. But I'm sure he spent more time doing it. I think you're covered. I have some good memories.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

Yours is the first automatic that I actually drove. And the amount of times I ended up on the wrong side of the road, which we still argue to this day, she says it's the right. It is the right. And so the last time we caught up was when I was here in the States in 2022. So four years ago, with my husband and my two daughters, and I took them back to Clay Center because I really wanted them to see the town sort of at the same age that I was. And it was just a trip that you can't put a price on. It was so good. It was so good. And at the time, Kendra lived in Utah and she made the journey to Nebraska to catch up. And it was very similar to our trip today. Because I think you were there for like two days, and we were there for two days, and that's what's happening again. Kendra, I want you to start by introducing yourself to my listeners today because I'm just so pumped that you agreed to come on the podcast because you've got some great stories. And besides the fact that you are one of my very, very dear friends to me, I know that you are gonna be inspirational to other women out there. So let's get started. Can you tell my listeners out there a bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 4:29

Sure. Um, so my name is Kendra, obviously. I grew up in a farming community in Nebraska, very small town. Our town of Clay Center only had about 900 people. I think it might be a little bit less now. My parents and aunts and uncles and cousins, and I have a lot of family that still live back there. I met and married my husband, who is in the Air Force, and that has kind of taken us all over the country. I've lived in North Carolina, Alaska, and now Utah. And we've actually been in Utah for 12 years. I'm a mom. I have two kids that are eight years old and five years old, almost six and nine, and a wife to my husband. This will be our 18th anniversary. You were there for our wedding. Yes. A part of our wedding. I'm a nurse. Have a few hobbies, I guess. I don't know. I I'm really honored to get to be uh on your podcast and get to be interviewed because I don't feel like I have a very interesting life, but I have a real life.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

So you do have a real life. I think you've got an incredibly interesting life, and we're gonna dive more into that in today's episode. You've got two kids. Your eldest Eli was adopted. Yes. Can you tell our listeners out there a bit about that process? Because in Australia, and look, people can correct me, send me a DM if I'm wrong. I feel like it is an incredibly difficult process to adopt a child. Doesn't matter, you know, what age they are, what nationality, where they're from. It seems to be a real mission in Australia. But what was that like for you here in America?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yeah. I think here in America it can be very similar. Everybody has a very unique adoption story. And there's a few different ways to go about it. We pursued private adoption. Basically, we did all of our like legal paperwork and home studies and stuff through a private agency in Utah where we happened to be living at the time and we decided that this was what we wanted to do to grow our family. Prior to that, we had spent eight years trying to get pregnant and nothing ever worked. I had never wanted to go through IVF. First of all, you know, you don't grow up thinking that it's gonna be hard to have kids. You think that, you know, you meet the right person, and when you're ready to start a family, you start a family. And I think it's becoming more common now. It's still the infertility journey is still a very lonely journey. So about eight years into it, we were basically just unexplained infertility, and they said, we don't know what else to tell you other than IVF is probably your best option. And I already had in my heart that if IVF was our best option, that we I wanted to adopt. Okay. I guess in my head, I felt like IVF was this super expensive thing that had no guarantee. Yeah. So in my mind, it made more sense to offer home to a child that was already growing in someone's belly. So once we once we decided we were gonna do that, we actually decided a little bit before Dan had to go to Korea for a year for so he's he was in the Air Force at the time, active duty military, which means that was his full-time job. He served as a member of the Air Force as an investigator. But he was in Korea. He was able to come home for two weeks on what they call RR.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

And during that, two weeks in the whole year?

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And it's that's optional. Some people just go for the whole year. But yeah. He was gone for a whole year. He came home for two weeks um that spring. So he had left in I think May and came home in like maybe March. And during that two weeks, we had a whole long list of stuff we had to get done, like fingerprints and interviews and like different things that are required for the adoption. Okay. And we just that's all we did for that two weeks. We just knocked it all out. And then once all of that was finished, we were able to be like air quotes active with the adoption agency. And once you're active, then they they would email us what they called situations. So it would be but just a brief description of birth mother who was looking to place her child with adoption. And it would just kind of it was really just a brief like description of their situation, and you could kind of decide if it was something you wanted to pursue or not. Okay. And if you decided you wanted to pursue it, then they would present you along with other families to the birth mother, and you know, they would get to make the decision if any of those families were, you know, who they wanted to place their child with. And we got pretty lucky because we became active, uh, I want to say like end of March, and we actually got matched by the end of April. Oh, okay. So no. With this situation, yeah. I and I actually so Dan had to go back to Korea. You know, he was only there for, but he was gonna be coming back. His time ended beginning of May. So I got to meet her shortly before he came home. So I met her for the first time on my own. Oh, wow. Um, our son's birth mom at an IHOP. We had breakfast. We just she's just an incredible person, and she we got very close, and she was very generous in allowing me to participate in all of her doctor's appointments and ultrasounds, and like she wanted me to be part of the experience, and that was really precious to me because at that point I'd kind of accepted that I would probably never experience pregnancy.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

I mean, that's really cool that you could do that.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Yeah. By the time he was born in the beginning of September, so we had from the beginning of May to the beginning of September where we were spending, you know, time together and and doing lots of things, and we got really, really close. And our goal going into adoption was to have an open adoption. Yeah. Meaning that we, you know, that that the baby would end up having contact with the birth family to, you know, whatever extent. For us, it was to whatever extent was healthy for the child. But of course, like it's a two-way street, so you gotta accept like what the birth family is okay with as well. But luckily it we just have we have a very close relationship. We really operate like an extended family. Um, sometimes I just love that I have like a mom partner. Yeah. She'll back me up if I need backing up, you know, if he's being arnery. Um he's a great kid, but it's a really That's a really unique situation too, though. It is, and it but it's really precious to us. She really is like she's like my sister, and we love each other dearly and respect each other greatly. And um, I couldn't have ever dreamed that we would have really such a great relationship. And it really is I mean, Elijah has known from the very beginning, you know, that he's adopted. He knows his birth family, he knows his heritage, he he knows his grandma, his brothers, his, you know, his mom, his dad, everybody. And we visit them, they visit us, and it's it's just been a really it's been a good thing for him, which was the most important thing to us.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Yeah. Yeah. That is really special. How did IVF then become involved?

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yeah, because I decided I never wanted to do IVF. Yeah. I had accepted that Eli was probably going to be our only child, and we were happy as can be, just the three of us. He's a he's a really neat kid. When he was maybe a little older than two, I saw him start to take interest in other babies and young children, and he would, you know, he was just drawn to them and he would love on them and he'd want to play with them, and it just clicked in my head. I thought, oh gosh, he needs a sibling. And at the time we had really good friends that were going through IVF and it was going, they were having a really good experience with it. I don't know why, but I was terrified of it. Oh, yeah. Because nothing had ever worked for us. I just didn't, I thought it would be just money down the drain. It would never work for us, just like nothing else had ever worked for us. But they were having a great experience, and so we went into the same fertility doctor, and I mean, it was honestly just kind of a dream. Like everything worked beautifully. We only had to do one round. Okay. I still have the voicemail from the office telling me that I was indeed pregnant. Oh, that's so that's special that you kept that. Yeah, it was surreal to hear the words. Oh, I bet. I bet. I did have one kind of scare, I guess, at like seven weeks. I had some bleeding and I thought, oh, this is it. Just like everything else, it's not gonna work. She's, you know, oh, we didn't know she was a girl at the time, but baby's gone. And so I was just beside myself when we went, we went straight into the fertility office and they did an ultrasound and there was still a little heartbeat there. Oh, that's a good and so I was just having, I forget now what it was called, but it was between the embryo sac and like the wall of my uterus, I was having some bleeding. I had to take it easy for a while, but it resolved. And other than that, I honestly had a fantastic pregnancy. I actually got to deliver her the way I wanted to. She was head down until 38 weeks. Oh, no, head up. Sorry. She was head up until 38 weeks. And so I wanted to have a natural birth, and we did all these classes with a doula and had everything set up, and then she would not turn. And so then I got scheduled for a C-section and all the things, but my appointment at 38 weeks, she was head down. She had turned herself. That's good. That was a good surprise.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Most people would say, Don't be rude, Emma, and ask how old you were at this point. How old were you at this point?

SPEAKER_00 13:28

Yeah. Um, so when I finally had Avery, I had just turned 39 years old, which was way older than I ever wanted to be. Having that experience, I don't I don't know exactly where it comes from, but uh from a very young age, I just I did not want to be an old mom. I wanted to be a young mom, but nothing in my life really happened um in the way that I wanted it to. I, you know, I met my husband who I love dearly and wouldn't trade for the world. And we didn't get married till I was 26, and then at 27 started trying to have a family. And 26 is young.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

26 is young to get married. Yeah. I mean, maybe not in how old are you, Emma? I was 24. Oh, okay. I thought you were younger. Yeah, no, I was 24. This is a long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I had Aver at 25. But I think I guess exactly what you're trying to say or what I'm trying to pull out from you is this is common now. This is we were talking about this off off air before I hit record that it's common and that we want, I guess, people that are listening out there that in their even in their early 40s, it's not that big of a deal. It's not. When our parents had us, yes, maybe, you know, having a kid at 40 would have been seen as ancient. That wouldn't that wasn't happening in the 70s and the 80s. But now having a kid in your early 40s, and depending on where you live, it's seen to be quite normal.

SPEAKER_00 14:50

You know what I will say that I've thought about multiple times is having kids and parenting in a much later stage in life than I imagined, I have a lot more confidence, a lot less in security, and probably a lot more wisdom to give them than I would have if I would have had them in my 20s. Definitely. I probably would have been a lot more worried in my 20s about what other people thought of me and um and all the things. So I don't know. There's definitely benefits to having more years under your belt.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

I think exactly what you've just said, all of those is certainly positives, that's for sure. I think also the finances. True. Very true. And I remember being at that age, I was an EA at that point, and EA's education assistants did not make a lot of money. And so there was that pressure to kind of go back to work and finish off my teaching degree and get cracking on it, and you certainly weren't taking a long time off on maternity leave. What you've just mentioned now, that's definitely a positive way to look at it.

SPEAKER_00 15:44

Yeah, I was I was actually, you know, because I didn't get married young and I didn't have kids young, I I went to school and I got my nursing degree, and I I had a whole career before any of that happened. So let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 15:55

Nurses. My mum is a nurse. One of my other good friends, Pauline, has been a nurse for a long time as well. You told me that you've been a nurse for 20 years. I know. That is this month is 20 years. That is incredible to think. And and look, I'm really interested in this. I want to know what it's like to be a nurse in America, I guess, compared to in Australia. What I'm trying to say is my mum was a nurse for over 40 years, and that entire time she was an Ian, so she was an enrolled nurse. And I remember her telling me when she got to about 50, and I think she retired when she was 66. So when she was about 50, they really put pressure on her. The work that she was at, she'd already been there for like 25 years, but they were like, Look, we don't really want you to be an EN anymore. We want you to do the study, we want you to become a registered nurse. And I get with that comes a better pay grade, but it also has a lot more responsibility. And my mum was like, I'm 50, I do not want to have to go back and study.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

And she was probably an expert at what she was already doing.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Well, and I feel like that's the things that I don't I remember her saying that she would get upset because they wouldn't let her on the maternity ward because she wasn't a qualified midwife. I mean, she had 25 years or probably plus. Probably knew more than the midwives that were over there. Yeah. I want to know, is this what's it like being a nurse in America? Like, do you have the same sort of pressures, the same sort of issues?

SPEAKER_00 17:11

Yeah, I mean, that does actually sound um familiar. Here, I think the EN is probably similar to what we call the LPN or licensed practical nurse, which is the step prior to the registered nurse. Okay. And here in America, you can get your registered nurse license with an associate's degree, which is a two-year degree, but then you can also have a bachelor's degree, which is a four-year degree. So when I first moved to Utah, so every state has actually been different. I've been a nurse in Nebraska, North Carolina, Alaska, and Utah. And every state is a little bit different as far as how they operate. When I moved to Utah and got a job in the hospital, they were actually still utilizing a handful of LPNs on the floor where I got a job. What's an LPN? Um, the kind of like the EN. Oh, okay. Yes. So like a little bit like a lower license level or something. They went away from using LPNs in the hospital. And so basically the LPNs had to either start working towards their RN or they had to go find a different job. And a lot of them went and found a different job. During COVID, manpower became a problem because a lot of people got very burnt out. That's a whole nother probably podcast episode surviving COVID in the healthcare industry. Yeah, I get we started utilizing LPNs again because they were available. They don't have to pay them as much, unfortunately. They kind of started integrating them back in so that we had more hands on deck. We are actually still currently utilizing them on the floor, and I don't really understand all the politics behind it. LPNs have a certain scope of practice and are able to do a certain, you know, number of things, and there's just a handful of things that they're technically not supposed to do. So then an RN has to be like over them.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

Is it like administrating drugs? Administrating drugs through an IV mostly.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

And then we have to like sign off on their charting, which is ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 19:00

So it sounds very similar. I know that obviously you do you mentioned that you do that part-time, and then throughout the week, you're a mum.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Yeah. So I worked full-time until Avery was about one, and we had we had the most incredible in-home daycare provider that we we would take the kids to their home, and they would just, you know, it wasn't a daycare center.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

They had a backyard, they had chickens, it was it was fantastic. And we got really close with the family, and I never felt guilty about leaving my kids with them. They were always excited to go there. But she closed her in-home daycare.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

And it was in 2021. And so we're peak pandemic. We couldn't find another in-home daycare that would take a one-year-old and a four-year-old. And so I chose to step down from my leadership position at the hospital and just work on the weekends and be home with the kids during the week because Dan doesn't work on the weekends. So I am home with the kids all week. And then every other weekend, then I work Saturday, Sunday, and he uh man's the shop at home. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

He does great. There's lots of mums that will be listening to this that have kids that will be, I think that's something that moms experience, you know, mum guilt where they've got to work and then but they also want to be a mum, but with cost of living, and I know we've talked about cost of living in America is very very similar to Australia, where it's like you really have to have two incomes to survive. People find it difficult to try and be a mum, and I mean you've worked so hard to get these two kids. And then it's like I don't really want to spend all day, every day, yeah, not spending time with them when they still want to hang out with me. I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

That's the golden thing as well. I know. When my boss and my mentor at the hospital, she said they're only this age once. Because it was really hard for me to step away from that full-time position. Because I mean, nursing is all I had done. Yeah. I did it for years before even having kids. And so it was really quite a mindset shift for me to step away from that and to be at home. And it was honestly kind of a difficult transition.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

I bet. Because you've worked hard in your career. Yeah. And for you to get out of here. And I enjoy it.

SPEAKER_00 20:57

Working and being a nurse and working in the hospital, it really does fill my cup. Um, and so being home with kids for all the moms out there that do it, that is not an easy gig. No, it is not an easy gig. And I'm not gonna lie, there are times that my weekend comes around and I cannot wait for Friday night to get there so I can go to bed early and sleep all night, and then I go to work all weekend. Oh man.

unknown 21:21

And get a little break.

SPEAKER_00 21:22

Get a little break from the kids, yes. But it's so good for them and their dad. Yeah. I think it's so good for dads and kids to have alone time where they just have to figure it out and they don't have mom around. Um, of course. My babysitter had mentioned that she closed the in-home daycare. That was like a word of advice that she gave me because I would have guilt about going to work on the weekend and I'd be afraid that Dan wouldn't be able to handle it. And she's like, No, this is the best thing that you can do for him and the kids. And it's totally true because they do great together on their own. You know, it may not be done the way I want it to be done, but nobody dies. Yeah. Everybody's happy at the end of the weekend. And it's it's really good, I think, for dads and kids to have to do that.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

That is really important. And I'm glad that you said that. You've been a fan. I've got some fans. I'm gonna toot my own horn right now. I'm a big fan. Yeah. You're a big fan. My mom's a fan. I've got some fans. My husband's a fan. My boss is a fan. He's great. He gives feedback. My husband gives feedback. It's great. But you've been a fan of the podcast from absolute day one. And I know you send me voice messages when it comes out because it's Friday our time, Thursday, your time, and you're like, oh my gosh, I just love the episode. But one episode in particular stood out for you, and it was Flossie's episode. Now her episode has been very, very popular, and I think it's because she is just a real person. She is a genuinely lovely lady that also happens to be a mum, also wants to have a career, has seemed to find this really good balance of taking time for herself, but then also loving life. Like the way she talks about Judy rosters, um, that just warms my heart. What are Judy rosters? You know, she puts them on the fridge and like or her kids, because she's a tourist. Ah, I got it. Yeah, so even like her little kid, I think she said is two, he will like get out there sucking. I was so impressed by that. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:15

That is so cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I remember her saying that, and I was like, wow. She's she doesn't muck around. I made Judy rosters and my kids don't pay attention to them. Oh no. They they do them for like two days and then nah, we're done.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

That episode though, you sent me a message after you listened to it. I still got it, and you were like, that's it. I'm gonna do this. I'm going to the gym. Yep. I've signed up today. Yeah. I need to take time for myself. This is my time. Can you tell me about that? Because if I was to quit this podcast today and just hung up my microphone and was like, I'm done, I would be so happy knowing that you have one of the episodes has changed somebody, and that person happens to be you right here sitting in front of me.

SPEAKER_00 23:52

So can you talk more about that episode? Yeah. Shout out to Flossie and thank you so much for doing the episode. And you know, I think back to it, I don't really remember what exactly lit the fire, but just hearing her talk about how you just do it. She was talking about, you know, simple things like meal prepping and just choosing to just go and do the workout, move your body. It was something that I mean, I have tried to maintain a decent level of fitness throughout my life. I would never I don't think of myself as like a sedentary unhealthy person, but I, you know, you kind of go through seasons where you have time for it and then you go through seasons where it just doesn't sound very fun. I love how you say you're allergic to exercise.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Yes, I need to get better at that. But yes, allergic to exercise has been made.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

We're gonna work on that. Just hearing her talk about how you just you just have to make the decision and do it. I was just like, you know what? She's right, I gotta do it. I just gotta do it. And I had been putting off, there was a particular gym that a bunch of people at work had been going to. And I'd been thinking about doing it, but I just kept telling myself, no, it's too expensive. I don't have time. I don't want to start something and then slough off on it. I don't know. After hearing her episode, I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna do it. Like I'm not getting any younger. I'm not gonna get any skinnier not doing anything. Like I'm just gaining weight in this with all these hormone changes that are happening in my 40s that I know you love to talk about. Oh my gosh, yes. And I and I was just kind of feeling like crap too, and I was tired of feeling like crap. The next day I signed up for the gym and I have been going real solid. And this was the beginning of February. February 2nd is when I signed up. It's made some big differences in my life that I didn't expect.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

Okay, like what?

SPEAKER_00 25:33

I feel like I can I am a better mom. I have a better mindset. Just I just feel more positive, strong, I guess, because we end up doing really hard things, and you you feel really proud of yourself when you can like lift way heavier than you thought you could lift. Or, you know, I've always been strong. I was strong when I was young, but I haven't been for a long time. So I'm trying to get it back. Yeah, no, it just the atmosphere there is so encouraging. I am just, I'm in a better mood. I'm a better mom. My mental health is better. I just feel better overall. It's not just about the physical. Working out is not just about the physical. It's for me, it's a lot about the mental health and just feeling better. Um, and then and then also when you you are working out and putting out all that effort, then you're more motivated to make better decisions with food, the the other habits that you choose to make for your body. And it just I'm older and I'm st I'm still trying to raise young kids. And so I I just want to feel better. I don't want to feel tired and cranky all the time. And it's helped a lot with that.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

That's great. I know Flossi talks about the mental health side of things. Yeah. Uh, in regards to obviously taking time out for yourself as a busy mum, being the person that you are and not losing your identity, I guess. Because now that's just become a part of your identity. I know you do your plants. I know you're a plant lady. I am. And I admire that because I'm really good at just killing them and then just replacing them. Um, I know it's terrible. I should admit that. I think hearing the passion in your voice for something that you've just decided to just do and just sign up and get the job done. You should be really proud of yourself. Thank you. Yeah, good on you. Because like I said, I'm I'm hesitant because I hate the feeling of being sore, but that's not a good idea. I do too.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

And the first two weeks were awful. Yeah. Three weeks probably. It went on way longer than I was happy with.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:20

But then it goes away and there's a there's a silver lining because right now you're feeling amazing.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

But you mentioned before your husband is in the Air Force and I know he's dropped, so he's not full-time anymore. Correct. What does that look like? Uh like for home life?

SPEAKER_00 27:35

Sure. Oh, home life is way better. Okay. He used to be uh what we call active duty Air Force. He did 13 years serving that way. He was gone a lot, especially when we moved to Utah. He was gone more than he was home for the first like four years that we were there. When Elijah was born and we were realizing he was um gone more than he was home, he just we he just he didn't like that. Yeah. Um, and so he decided to transition to the reserves. And so basically for the reserves, you serve a certain amount of time. Um, traditional reservists here in America, they do one weekend a month and then two weeks a year serving with our unit. And with his job and what he does, he typically once a year will go to his assigned duty station serve for up to a month. Um, and so right now his assigned duty station is in Japan. So he's been going there. I think this is gonna be his fifth year going there. He usually goes there in the spring. Um and this year we get to go with him. That's exactly so we're really excited. Yeah. Currently, what it looks like for life is he works a civilian job, still on the base where he was stationed last, and he's a government employee, and it's it's been way better for family life. And he just he travels for his civilian full-time job, but he doesn't have to, you know, deploy for six months or or a year or anything like that. He just goes for a little while, like a month.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

To me, that just boggles my mind that somebody could be gone for like even six months. You do it all the time, yeah. Yeah, that's a long time. So look, we're coming close to the end now. For it, we could talk all night. And I don't normally interview it. We probably will. This has been great. Yeah, we probably will. Uh but I want to just end by doing what I usually do, my rapid fire questions. I'm just gonna put them out there straight away. I believe in you. So the first one is what is one thing that you wish for women in 2026? Now I know that we're in May, but I'm still gonna say this until June. So Oh, okay. Yeah. That you take time to do something for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

Oh, and I Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like it's probably like I don't know, maybe a little bit overused right now, but I do think that it's so beneficial and important is take time to do something for yourself, whether it's read, journal, work out, like something that's only for you, maybe daily. Yeah, yeah. At least five times a week. How about? Let's put that goal out there.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

Yeah. Yeah why not? Sure. That's so good. Okay, that's a great one. Um now, what's something that you wish for for yourself in the future? I can stay healthy. And you're on fire with these answers.

SPEAKER_00 30:03

Really? Yeah, I wasn't even thinking that. Well, I still have little kids to raise. I gotta stay healthy. I wanna, you know, I don't wanna like not have a sane mind or something like that. Would you say that you're a futurist? Like, do you care about what happens in the future? I do care about what happens in the future, but I would not call myself a futurist. Um I feel like it's important to focus on the day you're in. Um I don't do great at that either, but I think there's a lot of value in in putting more focus on the day that you're in than on the future. Yeah. But it's also wise to like plan a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Yeah, planning. That's a good way to do it.

SPEAKER_00 30:40

I'm very type A, so that'll always be there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

That's good. I think that's important. I mean, I'm still I need to get out of nostalgia. I'm in I'm constantly being in the past. I'm always referring back to things. Probably do the same. I think that's the fuzzy wuzzy in me, you know. Like I just love that. I'm always like, remember that one time. I mean, I'm probably gonna be doing it about 2026. Remember that one time I went to Brooklyn randomly for a women's personal branding event. It's been great. Okay, now if you weren't a nurse, what is there something that you'd be doing? Is there something else you'd be doing? You know, I think I would be a hairstylist. What? Yeah. You are good at doing hair. Thank you. And your hair is amazing. I don't know about that. I've always wanted your hair colour. I've I mean, look at me, I've been paying, I think, hundreds of thousands to the colour. I did notice you like blonde again. 15 years trying to get blonde.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Well, I was born with very blonde hair. See, I have to I have to do the brows and the eyelashes because those are blonde as well.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

So okay, so a hairdresser, hairstylist. I think so, yeah. You'd be good at that. Thank you. Last one, what's something that you're truly grateful for?

SPEAKER_00 31:42

My f I mean my family for sure. It took a very, very long time to get there. And I'm very grateful for my family, my husband and kids, but then also, you know, my parents and my brothers and you do have a loving family.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

Yeah. Doug and Sandy were like my next American parents. Oh, they would love to hear you say that.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Well, they think of you as their Australian daughter for sure.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

We were, I mean, we still can't forget, would never be able to do it in this day and age, how they bought me as a slave at that slavery. That sounds so much worse than what it was. It does. But I know, for context, they had it at the high school. Remind me what you did. It was a fundraiser.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

No, I remember the fundraiser, but what did they slave you away doing?

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Yeah, it was old. Did you lay out irrigation pipe? It was laying irrigation pipes in the that is some hard physical labor. It I I bet you almost died. I nearly did. I nearly did. And I remember looking at Doug, which is Fandra's dad, just thinking, what even is this? If this was in Australia, somebody would be getting fired, like at the school. And that I was thinking that when I was 16. I did that every year. Yeah, it actually really made me. Into my 20s. Oh god, yeah, it was hard work. And you know what? Sometimes you've got to do hard work to make you realize just how hard that it could be. Yeah. Lastly, shout-out. I do this on all the episodes. You know, because you've listened to them. Yeah, I know. I'm pumped. What who is this? It could be a woman, a girl, a daughter, sister, anybody you don't have a sister, but you know what I mean? A sister-in-law, it could be anybody. I know you know a lot of incredible women in your life, but is there any standouts that you would love to take a moment to do a great shout-out to?

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yeah. There are so many, my friend, Amanda. Okay. Who wrote the book that I gave you. Oh, yes. Yeah. I've so you gotta try and get her to. Yes, for sure. Just the most incredible human. She's been through so many things. I mean, kind of the standout thing that she would probably start with as she walked across America from Georgia to Oregon to raise awareness for um suicide prevention and I feel like something else, but I'm so sorry, I can't remember. So she she did it with her with her partner. Shortly into the trip, they found out she was with child and she continued on the walk. She actually gave birth on the walk. Oh, she's yeah, they finished with uh, I want to say two-month-old. I'm probably getting these details wrong. But um that's next level. They just, I mean, really both of them, they're just an incredible couple who choose to live life not traditionally necessarily, but very meaningfully. And she's a cool cow. So shout out to Amanda. She's a little bit Rackham. Rackham is her last name. Okay. And then my my son's birth mother. Oh, yes. Yeah. She's just an incredibly strong woman, and she always she just always loves, no matter what. She keeps going and she loves, and she, yeah, she's just an amazing person. Oh. I don't know what I would ever do without her. Mm-hmm. I love having her as my son's mom. That's so special. It's not something you say every day, but I could always say, you know, my mom, my sister, yeah. There's so many. There's so many. Yeah, we'll stop there.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

Okay. Listen, I wanna say a giant thank you. Thank you. Yes, for this interview. I'm thank you for having me. I still need to get to Utah. I will do it. This has been an incredible.

SPEAKER_00 34:58

I'm so excited for you to come to Utah.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Yeah, I I need to do it. It's on the bucket list. And Chris wants to go to Utah.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

Please bring Chris.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

Yes, he will have to come to the U.S.

SPEAKER_00 35:04

He needs to go jujitsu with my husband.

SPEAKER_01 35:06

Oh, yes, he would love that. So I'm grateful that you came all this way to New York to meet with me and say thank you again for being on the podcast. Oh man. I love you. I love you. Thanks again. Thanks for listening to She Said It Out Loud. If you took something away from today's episode, I would love to hear from you. Go find me on Instagram at officially Emma Young. And hit follows to new episodes land straight in your feed. See you next time for more real and honest stories from legendary women.